Group Rules

So,

This little jem was sent to me by a friend (who may or may not be attending uni somewhere overseas). He/She has titled this "Group Rules", but frankly I think many of these rules could apply to all meetings, conferences or classes.

Oh and just a quick disclaimer.

The following opinions are those of the writer not the publisher. Please don't write a million comments on my blog about how you think these rules are offensive/rude/cruel etc......frankly its not my work.
And one more thing, some of the original names have been changed to protect the writers identity.

So here they are:

1) Attend meetings or die
2) Do your job or you don't get cake
3) Minutes are stupid and you suck
4) Discriminate at own risk
5) No touching
6) Must wear clothes
7) *.doc NOT *.docx <-- important
8) No slide transitions, they are annoying
9) Keep hands to your self
10) Nagging will not make things go faster, so f*** off
11) Don't ask stupid questions
12) There are no stupid questions
13) Yes there are
14) Don't make things up.
15) If it didn't come from your imagination reference that s***.
16) Redcliff and Cleveland are not good places for team meetings, they are a real long ways away.
17) Goldcoast is also not a good place
18) If the tutor, who will mark the project, suggests something, use it, even if it sucks, it will make him feel important, and get you a better mark
19) Don't sit on the floor it's just unclean.
20) All team members must know where each other lives in case of plagiarism.
21) Don't plagiarise, you don't want to know what happens.
22) never be alone in a closed room with blanker O'blank (lecturer who made all the home movies)
23) all team members must know the group song and motto
24) all disputes will be handled with a game of shotgun
25) if game of shotgun doesn't solve the problem make another group member do it
26) if that group member complains about having to take notes tell him to suck it up and remind him at least were not making him wear a dress like a real secretary.
27) that group member must bring a cake to every meeting. Penalty for not bringing a cake is same as penalty for plagiarism

Group song:
My body is nobodys body but mine, you can have your body, so let me have mine

Group motto:
Shotty not.

That's about all, I hope you enjoyed that.

by: ?????